


Just a Bit of Hocus Pocus

by MarriedHeathens



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Half-Elf Lucretia, Multi, Tiefling Julia, hocus pocus au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 14:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16176737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarriedHeathens/pseuds/MarriedHeathens
Summary: Centuries ago, the Wonder Twins nearly destroyed Neverwinter, until a powerful elf locked them away. Now, a boy by the name of Magnus Burnsides, his sister Lucretia, and their friend Julia Waxmen have accidentally freed them to continue their reign of terror. If they are going to defeat the Twins, they're going to need a lot more help.For Halloween, the Hocus Pocus AU fic literally no one asked for.





	Just a Bit of Hocus Pocus

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, don't expect this to be super well written, since I'm going to try to cram it all through before Halloween. But either way, enjoy!

_Countless centuries ago, Edward and Lydia Wonder were regarded as the most powerful witches in Faerun. Their family was a family of old magic, with a lineage of witches and warlocks and mages alike. But of all their siblings and cousins, it was their littlest brother, Keetz, who was destined to match them. At seven, he already rivaled their powers, showing an affinity for magic that none had seen before. But times were tough, and the plague takes no prisoners. Keetz fell ill. The sickness claimed his life before his tenth birthday, and the Wonder Twins, as they would come to be called, fell into despair._

_They spent decades studying the art of necromancy. Their only goal was to find Keetz, to return him to their lives. They studied with witches and warlocks alike. They studied and they learned, and in the end… they murdered._

_In the end, they found a spell, and a child foolish enough to fall into their clutches. A young girl, no older than six, came looking for help with her mother’s illness. Instead, they took her life, using it to turn them into immortal liches. The twins took to their newfound powers, and their brother lay forgotten. They terrorized the town of Neverwinter for centuries after, making advancements in necromancy unheard of. They stole men, women, and children alike to use for their experiments, to feed their insatiable need for suffering. Until, at last, one brave elf stood in their way._

_No one knows his name, even to this day. No one knows what he did, or how hard he fought to contain them. The people of Neverwinter whisper that it took three days to wear them down and, in the struggle, the mage was struck down. With his dying breath, he was able to contain the twins in an enchanted candle. The hero was buried with honors._

_The candle has remained locked away every since that day, waiting for the day someone pure of heart will unwittingly release them._

* * *

“It’s just a dumb legend!”

“It’s not just a legend!” Lucretia frowns at her brother from behind her bag of candy, green eyes narrowing. “You heard Mr. Waxmen! The twins can only be awoken on Halloween, and guess what night it is!”

Magnus simply laughs, reaching over to ruffle her hair. The witch hat clipped to the top of her braid shifts, but doesn’t fall. For a moment, he regrets not dressing up for Halloween, but he’s too old for that now. He’s got to look cool for all the kids at Neverwinter Middle School, and for Julia.

“And did he tell it to you, or read it from a textbook?” When she doesn’t answer, the teenager grins, shoving his hands in his pocket. “Just an old story, meant to scare little kids.”

Julia frowns from the doorway, crossing her arms over her chest. Unlike Magnus, she has dressed up for Halloween, more or less; clad in her mother’s old dress, accented by the pirate hat they had stolen from a gnome on the docks, she looks every bit the fierce pirate queen her mother once was. The tiefling glances from the siblings to the interior of the rundown cabin. From the cauldron to the infamous bell and finally onto the candle, the subject of so many of her dad’s stories. Even now, his voice comes back, warning her of the dangers of the Wonder Twins.

“I’m with Lucy on this one. Stories are told for a reason.”

“Yeah, Maggie!” The half-elf stamps her little foot. When Magnus tries to go around her, Lucretia moves once more between him and the candle. Her lips press together in a tight, thin frown. “Maggie, I wanna go home.”

“Just a minute…” He moves around her, removing the lighter from his pocket. Behind him, Lucretia rushes to Julia’s side, burying herself in the other’s arms. “It’s just a story, Luce! There’s nothin’ to be afraid of.” Magnus flicks the lighter open, holding the flame to the crooked wick. “And even if there is, you know I’ll protect you.”

The wick flickers for a brief moment before finally catching fire. For a moment, nothing happens; no one speaks or moves, or even breathes. They are all tense, just waiting for something to happen. But then Magnus turns, shoving the lighter into his pocket, and shrugs. There’s a grin on his face, brightening his eyes. A grin that fades as the floor beneath them begins to rumble.

“Oh no.”

A burst of wind shakes the cabin, and Lucretia screams. Windows fly open, dust billowing into the air. For a moment, Magnus can only stare in horror as candles all around them, previously unlit, burst to life. The chandelier above them swings wildly. The boards beneath their feet bend, light shining from below. Lucretia dives behind an upturned barrel. Laughter screeches, echoing throughout. Julia curses, running forth, grabbing Magnus’ hand. They are able to tuck themselves behind a table just as lightning flashes, momentarily blinding all three.

“Oh, it is good to be back!”

“I love you, but you have no idea how _cramped_ it was getting in that old thing.”

“Oh, but I do! I was there with you.”

From where she crouches, Lucretia’s eyes go wide. Floating in the center of the room, oblivious to those who have awoken them, are the Wonder Twins. They’re taller than she would have thought, each standing an easy six feet, with thin, defined faces. Despite the centuries of imprisonment, they both look… relatively good. They stand in their garb of old; matching suits, with Lydia in a gentle blue undershirt and Edward in green. White hair cascades down her shoulders on one side, with the other shaved, while Edward’s is the mirror opposite of hers. The sight of them alone is enough to make her stomach twist.

“But enough of that!” Edward proclaims, and moves around his sister. His gaze shifts around the room, as if looking for something. One hand lifts, to cup his chin, his forefinger tapping against his bottom lip in thought. “We have more important things to worry about.”

Lydia floats to his side, clapping her hands excitedly. “Oh, yes! Someone has awoken us. I wonder where they might be...”

Lucretia shifts, tearing her gaze away from them, searching for her brother and Julia, but they are nowhere to be found. Her throat squeezes as tears threatens to fall. If they live through this, she is going to kill him. She is going to curse him, and then she is going to kill him. Her ears flit, to pin against her head. The earrings decorating them jingle.

“There you are!” Edward’s face appears, nose nearly touching hers. She screams, falling backwards, but the elf simply shifts, so that he is floating over her. “I was wondering where you might be hiding! Come, come.”

“Come on,darling dear, no need to be afraid.” Lydia extends a hand, and Lucretia is unable to stop herself from taking it, from pushing herself to her feet. Something within her, whether through fear of magic, compels her to listen, to obey. “You freed us, after all! Do you know what that means?”

The little girl shifts, trying to step away, but Lydia’s grip only tightens. “I, uh-- You’re going to let me go home? I mean, I did you guys a huge favor after all. You should be super ecstatic about this!”

“Oh, we are!”

“But,” Edward interjects, “do you know how long we’ve been trapped in there?” When Lucretia doesn’t answer, he continues with, “Seriously. This isn’t a trick question, darling, there are no watches in an eternal prison. What year is it? How long has it been? Oh, you simply must fill us in on all the horrors we’ve missed!”

“I, uh…” Movement, there. Lucretia can see them now, Magnus moving, to stand behind the liches. Keep taking. Keep going. “Like, it’s been about five hundred years, give or take? Your story’s mostly been lost.”

“Lost!” Lydia looks offended, and releases Lucretia’s hand, only to hold her own over her heart. “Us? After everything we did for this plane? After all the advances in necromancy we discovered? The _indignity_ , truly!”

“You know, that’s a fascinating example of how even important events can be lost to time!” _Don’t think. Don’t think about what you’re saying, just say it._ “Honestly, when you think about it, we don’t even know how this entire world works, or how we were formed. We certainly don’t know who most of the gods were before they were gods, and yet I’m sure they have stories as well! Honestly, it’s not a huge surprise that your story would be lost, considering the fear that you--”

She stops suddenly, as Edward screams. Lydia turns, her attention stolen by her brother’s pain, only to be hit across the face by the same wooden beam that struck her brother. It’s enough of a distraction. Lucretia bursts free, running straight into Julia’s waiting arms. Magnus shifts the beam, lifting it once more, as Edward and Lydia both right themselves, moving in eerie synchronization.

“Well, now.” The male elf reaches up, to wipe at his lip. “That, I dare say, was entirely uncalled for.”

Lydia tilts her head. Her smile grows cold and cruel. “It seems as though not all of our story was lost. Tell me, little Fighter, how much of us do you know? I mean, truly. How much of our story has been forgotten that you think a hit like that is enough to kill two liches?”

Before Magnus can even think of a response, her hand is in the air, and lightning arches from her fingertips. The boy is thrown backwards. His back collides with one of the wooden support beams, and the old wood cracks. Lucretia runs to his side. Julia moves between the pairs, her arms thrown wide. What she wouldn’t give for her father’s hammer right about now.

“Hey!” She speaks with a strength even she didn’t know she had, and the twins turn their attention from the siblings to her. “Hey, leave them alone! We freed you. Shouldn’t you, like, owe us a debt, or something?”

“Darling, we’re not _genies_.” Lydia clasps her hands behind her back, floating closer to the teenage tiefling. “And that is certainly not how this works. But-- Ah! There, I see it. Look, look, Edward! A flicker of recognition.”

“A spark of fear.”

“A little tidbit of knowledge, just floating in the back of her mind. How delightful!” Lydia twists, so she’s floating upside down, and stares at Julia. The girl shrinks beneath her gaze. “You know of the stories, don’t you? You know more than most, little tiefling. So tell me, what do my brother and I live off of?”

It escapes, despite Julia’s best efforts to hold it in.

“Suffering. Pain. Death.”

“Exactly! And how long exactly have we been in that candle, little one?”

“...five hundred years, three months, and six days.”

Magnus’ voice is a croak as he pushes himself to his feet, “Julia.”

“Stay quiet!” Another arch of electricity from Edward sends the boy to his knees. Lucretia screams in rage, running forward, her bag of candy lifted as if to strike down the lich. It doesn’t take much to restrain her, and once more Edward does it with a simple cantrip. She falls to the floor, twisted in her own robes. Her hat rolls away. “Can’t you two see we’re having a conversation? Absolutely rude, I swear!”

Lydia turns her gaze back onto Julia. “So tell me, little girl. If you were imprisoned for over five hundred years, what would be the absolute _first thing_ you would do?”

Julia can only watch in horror as Edward curls his fingers, motioning. Lucretia lifts from the floor, despite her own struggles, and slowly begins to float the short distance between where she had fallen and where the Wonder Twins now float. Her mouth is open, wide with a scream, but no sound comes out. Edward chuckles as he encloses his hands around the girl's middle, twisting her until she's floating right-side up. Tears well in the tiefling's eyes.

“Find something to eat.”


End file.
